DVD Reviews

Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

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Earthlings is a documentary that looks at the evolution of the Klingon language through the dedicated trekkies that speak it in their everyday lives. Right, first of all, this is nowhere near as interesting as it sounds (exactly).Quite frankly, it's probably the most insipid thing you ever likely to lay eyes on. It's documentary making of the lowest form; over-directed with washed out black and white close-ups and unusual framing. To be honest, people talking in a room is people talking in a room, no matter how many funky after-effects your PC can do, or how many lamps you inventively place next to their heads. There could have been plenty to at the very least - distract, here, as these folk are obviously a devoted bunch, but this film could literally have been a mediocre DVD extra. Countless interviewees spout off random crap in Klingon; apparently, if you don't have a mouthful of phlegm, you're not speaking it correctly. One man talks of only speaking Klingon to his child as he was growing up, in the hope it would become a natural language to him (this guy actually persuaded someone to have sex with him).The kid, when he's interviewed, makes more sense than anyone else: 'I think it's cool and all, but I wouldn't want it to interfere with my school work' (his mother - evidently not versed in the wonderful world of trekdom - will hopefully get custody if these people are ever divorced).Seriously though, this is essentially a documentary about linguistics, and it doesn't really entertain or inform - other than the fact that these people should probably get out more. That's a shame, because in the right hands it could've worked: it's not a bad premise for a documentary, just a horribly-executed one. For hardcore trekkies only.

Review by Mike Sheridan