DVD Reviews

Aquamarine

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• Director:
• Starring: Emma Roberts
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Two teenage girls have a summer of reading Cosmo Girl and gossiping about cute boys interrupted by the arrival of mermaid Aquamarine (Paxton) into their complicated lives. Aqua ya see, needs to find true love before her ol' lad goes off on one and makes her marry a 'Merman' of his choosing (that's right folks, mermaids have arranged marriages).It would be incredibly easy to be cynical about a movie like Aquamarine, and if I duly took it apart and called it for its crimes against cinema, it'd look strange with anything other than one star. But despite my inclinations to harp on about the awful dialogue ("she's a sandwitch"), bland direction, and a script full of teenage-angst cliches, I will instead concentrate on the positives. The whimsical storyline, the endearing young leads and an overall light-hearted tone make it hard to hate Aquamarine, despite its many flaws and the fact that it plays like the stupid little sister you never had. It'd be like kicking a puppy for crapping on itself; and although some of you may be inclined to do that (not me, I love puppies) most of you will probably go the more humane non-puppy-kicking route. Young Roberts and pre-teen pop tart JoJo are where the heart of Aquamarine lies, and they do a more than capable job of holding the movie together. Paxton, however, isn't as effective as the mermaid; but it's not her fault - she's the one saddled with the worst dialogue ("You scared the salt out of me", etc.) Meanwhile, resident eye-candy and object of the girls' obsession (borderline stalking, truth be told) McDorman essentially runs around either taking his top off (in slow motion) or putting it on (in slow motion).Needless to say girls from the ages of 8-15 will lap it up and swoon over the male lead; you, however, may spend the duration wishing for a bus to hit him. Sorry, I tried..

Review by Mike Sheridan