The Human Centipede: A Movie That's Got Legs

Words: Mark 'Lenny' Linehan
IF you have been watching any of the episodes of Ultimate Big Brother, then you have already been exposed to the full horror that was racing pundit John McCririck waddling along in overstretched transparent underpants.

As the elder to reality TV lurches like a wounded animal to it's final conclusion, it seems appropriate that the film-maker behind the most talked about schlock fest of the year cut his teeth working on the original Dutch version of the show. The writer, director and producer Tom Six started off on the birth of Big Brother, and it seems appropriate that his latest film, The Human Centipede (First Sequence), features a scenario that I personally would love to see executed on any number of previous and current BB contestants.

The...

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Edgar Wright Vs The World

Words: Mark 'Lenny' Linehan
If you suffer from any form of (FEP) Fast Editing Phobia, or you're completely indifferent to smart self-satisfied dialogue and breakneck scene changes, then Scott Pilgrim Vs The World is not for you.

If the answer is yes, and you are salivating over the keyboard, then the following ingredients are sure to whet your desire for some hardcore geek porn:  Role play fantasy and video games, (references to Mario Bros., Zelda and Pac-Man etc. and a narrative arc that moves through levels rather than story) Japanese high-school girls, (Knives Chau is his post break-up fling) comic books, (it was based on a celebrated series by Bryan Lee O'Malley) wannabe rock stardom, (Scott plays bass in his band 'Sex Bob-omb'), a theme song written by Beck...

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Beefed-Up Stallone Expands for The Expendables

Words: Mark 'Lenny' Linehan
SYLVESTER Stallone has leapt off the mobility scooter, kicked his stair-lift to the kerb and bulked up again to star as the leader of The Expendables.

The basic plot revolves around Barney Ross (Stallone) heading up a crack team of Mercenaries to overthrow an evil dictator on a nondescript South American island. That is all you need to know. Throw in a rogue C.I.A. Agent (Eric Roberts), a beautiful native (Giselle Itié), a naughty Dictator General, huge weaponry, several decapitations, huge explosions, tattoos, large bikes, a souped up pick-up truck, as well as a reunion of 1980s hard men exhumed from the movie grave, and you have every cliché ticked off in this painting by numbers flick.

So, why is it so much fun?!

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